CONGRATULATIONS FOR KICKING THE HABIT PRESIDENT OBAMA! Quitting smoking is not easy!

CONGRATULATIONS FOR KICKING THE HABIT PRESIDENT OBAMA! Your smile will get brighter and brighter every day! Quitting smoking is not easy!

I learned how to smoke from Tatum O’Neal’s role in the movie “Paper Moon.” I was nine years old when I saw the movie and seeing a little girl smoke made me think it was okay for me too. Be careful what you wish for! I had my smoking habit for almost 20 years. When it was time for me to quit, I had to quit a lot of things. There were the bad things, like hard drugs and alcohol and there were the things that I deemed “bad but not as bad” like marijuana and tobacco. In recovery we have to make some serious choices, one is figuring our what our primary addiction is. Even though the hard drugs were destroying my life, my primary addiction was actually cigarettes, alcohol and pot but not always in that order when it came to alcohol and pot at least.

More than anything I figured out after a while, cigarettes were absolutely my primary addiction. They taught me a lot of “learned behavior” like how to look good smoking while drinking. How to make a joint look like a cigarette and tacky stuff like that. I didn’t realize the seriousness of my addiction to cigarettes until I read a book from “Smoke Enders.” From this book I leaned how entangled I really was in my addiction to cigarettes. I had all kinds of lifestyle habits like the car would not start unless I had a cigarette in my mouth or what was the point in making a phone call if I didn’t have a half full pack of smokes sitting next to the phone with an ashtray. I couldn’t stand people who didn’t smoke and preferred friends who did. After a while (like 15 years of smoking) I developed real anger and anxiety when people pointed out I should not smoke or if I ran out of cigarettes. But nothing made me more angry than quitting smoking cigarettes.

My habit was tangled into drinking coffee because cigarettes and coffee were much more compatible than cigarettes and orange juice. It was not a matter of what tasted good, but of what was compatible to smoking and this included perfumes and even laundry detergent as well as air freshener. I also supplemented smoking with meals to control my weight. I thought of food and smoked a cigarette instead of getting a healthy meal in my system.

Quitting was hell on wheels. The misery I felt the first two days quitting cold turkey is hard to describe. It was like wearing a tight belt around my waist day and night for 48 hours straight and no matter how much it bothered me I could not remove it (unless I smoked). I always say, if you can make it past the first two days, you can make it past the first two weeks and go from there.

Quitting smoking is not as hard as quitting hard drugs, but it is psychological crazy-making in the beginning. Getting away from nicotine is great but the one thing we have to realize is that we have a whole lot of time for filling in the blanks where we thought of smoking before. We have to make room for new thoughts and new things to do so we don’t run idle. No more offensive odors in the hair, on the clothes, in the car, on my breath. Running actually feels good, though I do have decreased lung capacity from smoking. For me it’s never again. I hope President Obama stays on the right track. If I can offer a little advice: Always keep in mind that there is no such thing as “a reason to smoke.” God speed Mr. President!

Al Pacino, Sober...I think?

He sounds sober, but he says he doesn't want to be, yet he seems to be. Or his he?

One way to know if you're on the right path to recovery is to talk about being sober. If you talk about it long enough your brain will go "hey! I'm supposed to do this, not just talk about it."

In this interview with Larry King, Al Pacino sets a good example of how to talk yourself into being sober. Wishing you the best Al!

Mel Gibson: Untreated Alcoholism?

OKSANA GRIGORIEVA is clearly a victim when it comes to domestic violence as can be seen and heard on this TMZ video clip. At the same time I believe that she will get the help she needs. But what about Mel? In this interview with Larry King, where recorded conversations are made public, a couple of things seem very obvious.

Mel is completely enraged at Oksana and is fitting the model of a man who has so much rage, he verbally expresses that he does not have any regard for who he hurts, including a baby as well as himself. Second, even though his behavior is clearly of concern, why did Oksana record the calls, prolonging his obsession rather than call the police? After all, recording a call is against the law in California unless both parties are aware they are being recorded.

The taunting of Mel, telling him he needs medication may not be a big issue for those who don't understand the disease of alcoholism. But for those of us who do, telling an alcoholic, especially a dry and untreated alcoholic that he or she needs medication is a serious mistake and will without a doubt cause rage, even the kind of rage Mel expresses in his conversations. This is by no means something anyone deserves, but it is a attibute to alcoholism that has never been treated.

Untreated alcoholism fits the model of some of the behavior Mel is exhibiting. When we get sober and we take the 12 Steps, we learn not to turn guilt into rage. We learn that we are only human and are responsible for the harm we do and that we must make amends. Though the amends process can be a life-long process, if we're going to be sane and free from the stronghold of addiction we must stay away from situations that cause us harm. If we don't we must be removed or someone will eventually remove us and make us fall from our ego-driven throne.

The best thing for Mel right now is to end the court ordeal quickly, get some therapy and go back to doing something that makes him happy.

Just watch to the end...

Mexico's President Calderon: U.S. is largest consumer of drugs in the world

A must see video. Mexico's President Calderon points out that not only is the U.S. the largest consumer of drugs in the world, but also that 90% of the weapons seized from the cartels were sold to them by the U.S. The issue of the guns was that Mexico had outlawed the guns they confiscate, that the cartels obtain the guns through legal means in the U.S. and smuggle them back to Mexico.

Calderon further stresses that the U.S. must reduce its consumption of drugs. Period. On that point I couldn't agree more.

Proposition 19 and the Pink Elephant in the room

What does being sober and being in politics have to do with politics? Well in the recent fight to defeat Proposition 19 quite a lot. As an independent campaign committee fighting against the measure which failed to attempt to legalize marijuana in the State of California for recreational use, I found my sober position constantly being ignored like a pink elephant in the room. Even though my fellow debate panelists knew I had suffered a 13 year addiction that started with pot and lead to serious health consequences as well as incomprehensible demoralization, I found myself being insulted, second-guessed with certain people and debated with people who deliberately were adding insult to injury. On more than one occasion I even encountered people who were in a 12 Step program that wanted to legalize and sell marijuana to the residents of California, even thought they understood the harms of picking up marijuana first hand, which of course was rather disturbing.

All those negative mean spirited things would have worked for the other side to get me to step aside and give up had I not been sober. They were unable to sway me. It was only during the last 11 months of campaigning that I began to really understand why we are cautioned in early sobriety to stay away from conflict and anger that is directed toward us. We are simply not strong enough both physically and emotionally to handle the negativities and jealousies of the world. This especially when we are thrust into the spotlight in midst of our early recovery.

Proposition 19 was defeated and the youth and parents of California as well as recovering addicts and those who are trying to gain recovery are one step closer to having a safer environment where drug dealers don’t run rampant from community to community. It was a great victory indeed.

Acting as if they were somehow duped, Prop. 19 proponents had a pretty hard time admitting publicly that they actually lost and tried to pretend that the loss was not real for them and that Prop. 19 was only a "test run." But having been on the front lines, I know how hard they fought and having experienced political losses prior to Prop. 19, I know they must be devastated.

They leveraged all they knew how while at the same time not realizing that California was no longer willing to take chances on marijuana. And for that matter, neither was the rest of the country including the Obama Administration. By sending the message of the people’s “NO” vote in several other states, a message of marijuana legalization is just not a priority was sent to the rest of the world. Chances are that marijuana legalization as a whole was a fad and a trend of lawlessness that is fazing out because communities have had enough from the crime and the dubious snake oil salesmen who peddle the intoxicating, mind altering weed.

In the end California who was expected to lead the world in irresponsible, out of control drug peddling under Proposition 19, now leads a sobering charge to do the right thing and look to our core priorities of creating a better California. Thanks to all the hard working community activists, drug preventionists, law enforcement and our civic leaders we are back on the right track to combat America's drug problem. That is to keep drugs illegal so they are less accessible while we streamline a solid prevention effort to educate our communities about the risks of drug use and addiction.

- Alexandra Datig

Hollywood, can we get a grip here??? 8-year old children act out "Scarface" in Hollywood stageplay

This is not okay. If Hollywood has ever needed any evidence on how out-of-touch the situation is on the message Hollywood is sending to the youth regarding drugs and violence, this tops it all. What can we do to change this? Why do people get away with stuff like this?

I am apalled!

Lindsay Lohan - It's time to get sober and get your life back!

Lindsay Lohan is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. But in the last few years we have watched her fade into the absent minded world of addiction. Today I am seeing pictures on TMZ of Lindsay and it does not take an expert to see that Lindsay is not in touch with the real world anymore.

KTLA reported that police are thinking about committing Lindsay to an involuntary 5150 hold. 5150 is a 72 hour evaluation. I hope if the authorities do commit her, they make a recommendation for treatment of six months or more - away from Hollywood.

Lindsay is not getting it. She is not happy with who she is on the inside. Every time we turn around Lindsay has a different hair color. Why? Distracting on the outside so we don't have to deal with what's on the inside? It's quite typical for addicts.

5150 means it's over. Get real or get more of the same. It's time to want this thing Lindsay. A prayer for you. Get sober and get your life back.

Corey Haim, first tried Marijuana when he was 15 years old

There are so many folks who argue against the "gateway theory" of marijuana, yet when I look at the case of Corey Haim I see myself and I always say for me marijuana was the gateway drug. According to this month's issue of People Magazine, Corey Haim tried marijuana for the fist time when it was offered to him on the set of "Lost Boys." That experience later lead to alcohol, then cocaine and then crack addiction for Haim, all while he was still in his teens.

EMINEM showing improvement on Rocket Man's watch

Okay, sooo..., rapper EMINEM who was recently taken under the wing of Rocket Man, Sir Elton John to mentor him for success in sobriety has a new album. It's called "Refill." Looks like Sir Elton John's mentoring is having a good influence on EMINEM. In this video, visitors are invited to go to rehab. Inside doors can be clicked on which lead down dark corridors and other "interesting" empty places. Very hip. (...if you've never had to go to those places that is. Personally, I've been there so it's a little creepy, but I can deal.) The rap rocks and it shows that you don't have to be all spaced out on dope to write a slammin groove. Good work Sir Elton John!

Leif Garrett, Angel in trouble on my Watch List

We think we have our life back in control after we get treatment from professionals. Rehabs and sober living can do a lot for us in early sobriety. But when those places are gone and we have a little time in recovery, we tend to forget that the work is now ours to do. Rehab is not just there so we can get the publicity we need to get people back on our side. Rehab means we have crossed the line and we are in trouble, that we have to look at reality and that means we can not use drugs again. We have to change if we want to live.

Leif Garrett had more than one year in recovery after this appearance on Entertainment Tonight. But Leif fell back into a pattern and relapsed. The L.A. Times reported Leif is facing charges for possession of black tar heroin.

Leif is a known addict. We know he is prone to relapse. Lets help Leif out and get him the help he needs and let's not lose sight of Leif so he can get some solid recovery under his belt.

Coery Haim's death likely to be psychosomatic - Part II

Corey Haim was without a doubt in search of being something more than he was to mask the ordinary part of his life which addiction took far out of reach. But like many addicts, during our addiction we live our life by some bizarre script that lets us build the addiction around our life and our life around the addiction. We don't realize exactly how mentally unhealthy this is for us until we realize that we have played on our script for so long that we no longer remember or know life on life's terms. That's a real bad sign for us and we must learn to recognize it and do something about it by getting sober and bringing the ordinary world back before we lose all sense of reality.

With Corey Haim the signs if his own self-contrived bizarre world were more real than we may have recognized before. Please know that this is not a judgment, but rather a tragic pattern. In the show "The Two Coreys" Haim is seen painting and he is quite good at it. When he had wild emotions, anger and passion he would dive into his canvasses and paint beautiful colors. Yet at the same time we have to take a look at the world perhaps governed by his creativity.

On Haim's official website we see the background of Vincent Van Gogh's painting "Starry Night." As we merge to Haim's MySpace page, we see the wallpaper again is Van Gough, along with the song "Vincent" by Don McLean whose lyrics may reveal more about Haim's own desperation and feelings of being misunderstood than we may have thought.

Van Gogh was an mentally ill man and the end of his days are quite sad.

"Vincent Van Gogh, painter whose work had a far-reaching influence on 20^th century art for its vivid colors and emotional impact. He suffered from anxiety and increasingly frequent bouts of mental illness throughout his life, and died largely unknown, at the age of 37, from a self-inflicted gunshot wound." - Wikipedia

One of the projects Haim was working on (movie wise) has the following summary:

A Detour in Life - Here's the summary

After James wife is tragically killed by a horse, he takes a detour down a road of self-destruction and drunkenness, ignoring the cries of help from his coming of age daughter, Abbey. Will James stay down this path? Or will he fight his inner demons, if not just for the sake of himself, but for the sake of Abbey? What detour will Abbey choose after the loss of her mother and her father becoming a drunk? Both Abbey and James go through a roller coaster of a life of ups and downs. But something or someone is coming to settle this coaster ride by an unexpected detour that comes along from an unlikely source. One that neither of them ever saw coming. Will it be for the good or for bad? If good, will they accept this new detour? Who or what is this detour? Only James and Abbey can figure it out together. But it will take one of them to make the turn, which ever way they go will have a huge impact on the rest of their life. (Written by Tina Brown)

Addicts cannot retain sobriety by being exposed to negativity and by following examples of ill health. If we continue to follow the path of destructive thoughts and flight from the love of others we simply will not understand how to recover. Haim knew this to some degree as he tried to do many good deeds to make up for the things he lacked, such as helping animals at shelters.

Coery Haim, the funeral and "The Two Coreys"

Strangely enough, many of the people commenting about the City of Toronto paying for Haim's funeral, disagree with the city. That's a real sad deal to read how people feel about a guy who was down on his luck and ran out of chances.

I found and watched 10 episodes of "The Two Coreys" yesterday on You Tube (There were actually 19 episodes from 2007-2008). Haim had no chance to grow and come out of his addiction. I think that show will become a major study on how not to treat an out-of-control addict. Helping an addict through confrontation, controlling and by pushing his or her buttons creates more addiction, not sobriety.

Corey Feldman had no idea what he was dealing with and I feel badly for him because he really tried to do "what he thought was right." Feldman's actions will come back to haunt him, though we should always remember that Feldman too is recovering from addiction. The actions Feldman took ended up being the exact opposite of what Haim needed. Haim created his own loneliness and desperation, but he was in so deep that he did not know how to ask for help anymore because he was constantly asked to feed on humble pie and that placed him into inner conflict and prideful behavior.

When do we know an addict is asking for help? When he or she says, again and again, "I need help, I want to change" and then makes that change.

We have to be patient with relapsing addicts. Our fear of failure is critical to our sobriety. Make no mistake about that. If we make a relapsing addict aware of failure with provocative comments and confrontation, he or she will not be able to grow and find his or her will to hold on to recovery.

Corey Feldman says "Go Kill Yourself" about (to) Corey Haim

In this episode of "The Two Corey's" some of the most emotionally toxic dialogue takes place which is harmful and without surrender.

An argument begins at about the 4:40 mark in this clip where Corey Feldman actually says the words "go kill yourself" about (to) Corey Haim. Is that what a real Friend says to someone who is in that bad of shape with addiction? I think not! Feldman knew there was a chance Haim may watch this clip.

Arguments are the most harmful elements in the recovery process. Judgements can often lead to suicide or overdose because they take away the hope that one day we will grow and not think of hurting ourselves with substance abuse.

Coery Haim's death likely to be psychosomatic - Part I

After watching this clip on TMZ it became clear to me that Corey Haim was acting in this show and that the true dialouge of his real addiction was heavily supressed. His restless moves, his eagerness to reveal his problems and playing off Corey Feldman was all for show.

The doctor in the clip was not of much help either. No one was willing to give Corey the emotional help he needed. They were only willing to make a list of what he took and too no inventory of the pain which drove his addiction.

Corey's cry for help in this video is painful to watch.

Corey Haim, overdose at 38

It is always incredibly sad to see someone die so young at the hands of drugs. I feel sad for Corey's loved ones. People just don't think it is any of their business to interfere with a drug addict just because the addict says "things are under control." Corey was in and out of rehab 17 times. He clearly had no control over his addiction and no true will to stop hurting himself with drugs.

Once again we watch as a known drug addict faced the end of the road with no one to stop him. This is not acceptable.

10 tips for Tiger Woods

The hardest part about addiction is getting the addict to see his or her part in the addiction. Tiger Woods is no different. How do we know if Tiger rally means what he says when he says he is sorry? Most Internet commentaries do not buy his approach of apology and neither do I.

Here's my advice to Tiger:

1. Tiger, you are a grown man. Please refer to your mother as your mother not as "my mom" as if you were a school boy.

2. You were not the only one who created the damage. If you are going to start over with a clean slate, then make a list of all the women you invited into your life and tell them you are sorry. Be a man, make the first step.

3. Please set up a special fund to help those women who need it get treatment so they do not do this to other married women and men.

4. When writing a statement talk about something more than yourself. 80% of your apology was about you and what you did, not how or why and with whom you did it, or whom you hurt or why you did all of what you did in the first place.

5. Go back to play golf.

6. If you are not going back to play golf discuss with your therapist if the reason for this may be that you have not overcome the death of your father. If that is the reason for your behavior then get treatment and get back in the game now.

7. Let go of your anger and please look at all the disappointment you have caused.

8. Do good for people like you did for Haiti.

9. Don't alienate your fans.

10. Do something each day to help those you have hurt and forget about your own self-seeking.

10 Reasons of Why it's good to be Sober

1. You know your chances of waking up tomorrow are pretty good.

2. Knowing what day it is always helps

3. Looking people in the eye and smiling with sincerity is a nice feeling

4. Saying "I love you" and knowing why

5. Getting to work on-time

6. Being someone people can count on

7. Being responsible for life on life's terms

8. Looking presentable

9. Looking for the beauty in things

10. Having real friends

Artie Lang suicide attempt, stabs himself 9 times

The New York Post reports that Artie Lang is recovering after a suicide attempt to stab himself nine times. Lang has been trying to get sober for some time now and it looks like his early recovery was not well guarded.

Lang should be committed for his own safety until he reaches a stable mental state. God speed to Artie Lang.

The Two Sides of Bruce Perlowin

In the Summer of '09, Bruce Perlowin came to the City of Los Angeles and went to City Hall to give his 60 second pitch to the City Council. Perlowin want to offer the City his special ATM "type" card which would help funnel tax dollars from dispensaries real-time, straight to the government. A great way to get the names and info from all who are using, now the question remains who is in control of the patient information? On once side Perlowin states that he and his associates are "new" to the Marijuana Industry, yet on the other side Perlowin has a series of videos on his blog which show quite a different side to the story of Perlowin.



On his YouTube page, Perlowin has a radio interview entitled "The King of Pot" with a photo of a much younger Bruce Perlowin. In the interview he talks about his new, publicly traded company "Medical Marijuana Inc." and his background of having been a major drug smuggler 30 years ago. The smuggling was to the tune of an international 200 man operation of pot smugglers and Perlowin himself did 15 years felony time for his failed operation.

I wonder if he ever went through a 12 Step program?

"Rocket Man" to the Rescue

The Associated Press and The New York Daily News reports that Eminem has been getting the assistance from Sir Elton John for his highly publicised drug problem. Sir Elton says he's been helping the rapper out for more than a year. Eminem is lucky to have a sober mentor like Elton John, who rode his high to frightening levels himself.

Sir Elton says people who are on drugs are so arrogant and cocky that often they refuse help. Guess that's one way of looking at it. There are many factors which play a role in keeping the addicts hooked. It's like self-imposed blackmail of a sort.

"Medical" Marijuana IS a Gateway Drug

Found an article in The New York Times which states both everything I believe in terms of Marijuana being a gateway drug and that it has serious addictive properties that lead to further addiction for some. I highly (no pun intended) recommend this read. The Marijuana argument is not about two sides. It's not about three sides. It's about all sides and identifying what those sides are.

We cannot expect to have a "One Size Fits All" approach when it comes to this issue. While everyone seems to care about the cancer patient and the AIDS patient, whom we should care about, no one seems to be interested in discussing how second hand Marijuana smoke alone can start the cycle of addiction in a sober addict.

I for one will be raising that issue.

Happy New Year!

Here's to good health, love, friendship and a long happy life!

FYFN