15 Years Of Recovery In The Garden Beyond Right And Wrong

By Alexandra D. Datig

There is a saying in the world of recovery that goes, “An Alcoholic is a person who has lost his or her ability to perceive the difference between right and wrong.”  This brings me to a biopic about Princess Diana I saw a few days ago.  At the end of the movie, Diana’s heart surgeon-lover leaves her flowers at the gates of Buckingham Palace with a note that wishes her his final farewell.  A voiceover of Naomi Watts as Diana comes on and we hear her reciting the note with a poem by the Persian poet Rumi that says, “Somewhere beyond right and wrong there is a garden.  I will meet you there.”  The poem spoke to me deeply and I realized the garden of which Rumi’s poem spoke is the place I often find myself in recovery.  It is a magnificent place.

Today marks my 15^th year in recovery from an addiction that nearly took my life.  In this time I have been able to explore the truths about recovery, the benefits and rewards, the injustices, the myths and the mystery of my own place in a world that knows very little about long-term recovery.  In case you were wondering, I am glad to report that the fun does not end when you get sober.  Relationships and commitments last longer and friends stick around and have your back.   At work and in life you are counted on in ways you never knew before and it is true when they say that you are able to handle situations that used to baffle you with the grace of an adult.   What is more, you gain true knowledge and appreciation for those who love you and tried to love you when you could not and would not love yourself.    

For me, everything got better as long as I remembered that I alone am responsible for my recovery.   I have learned that I can push my boundaries and find where they end.   I have also learned that the only way to find out whether you have crossed the line is to actually cross it.   Sometimes it is quite fascinating what you can find on the other side. 

In my 15^th year in recovery I am going to mellow out a little.  I’m going to observe more, let my hair down, not take things too seriously and enjoy watching the flowers grow in the garden beyond right and wrong.

Happy New Year!

Welcome Back Phil!

Hello Phil Robertson critics??

Hello Phil Robertson critics?? Hope you read this part in the GQ Magazine article on Phil's values: "We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job. We just love 'em, give 'em the good news about Jesus-whether they're homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort 'em out later, you see what I'm saying?"

Source:  www.gq.com

My Favorite Poem: "If" by Rudyard Kipling (read by Tom O'Bedlam)

A Charlie Brown Christmas (The Meaning of Christmas)

Holiday Humor

Message To The Ladies: Thinking About Holiday Over-Eating? Watch This. I'll Motivate You Not To. Stay Beautiful! :)

Post by Female Fitness Models.

SNL Skit: President Obama Addresses Mandela Memorial Interpreter

This Alcohol Ad Takes A Very Honest Turn. Surprise, Surprise, It's Mega Depressing.

Medscape Medical News: FDA Approves Cannabis Extract Study in Pediatric Epilepsy

Sue Hughes - December 12, 2013

The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has given approval for studies to begin on a medicinal form of marijuana for the treatment of intractable epilepsy in children.

The drug, cannabidiol (Epidiolex, GW Pharmaceuticals) is the largest nonpsychoactive component of the cannabis plant.

The product has also been granted orphan drug status for the treatment of children with Dravet syndrome, a rare and severe syndrome of infantile-onset, genetic, drug-resistant epilepsy.

One of the investigators in the study, Orrin Devinksy, MD, New York University School of Medicine, New York, told Medscape Medical News that this is the first formal study of cannabidiol, although there have been anecdotal reports of "miraculous" benefits with similar products in severe epilepsy.

Many of these reports have been featured as part of media coverage profiling parents lobbying to get access to this treatment for their children.

Dr. Devinksy noted that GW Pharmaceuticals already has approval and is marketing a drug containing 50% cannabidiol and 50% delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol (THC, a psychoactive ingredient of marijuana) under the brand name Sativex in the United Kingdom, several European countries, Canada, and New Zealand to treat spasticity in multiple sclerosis (MS).

It is also being developed to treat neuropathic pain in MS as well as cancer pain.

"The company is now also making pure cannabidiol, which is to be tested in our epilepsy study," he added.

Dramatic Effects in Anecdotal Reports

"We still don't know for sure that it works in epilepsy," he noted.

"There have been very promising results in animal studies. In addition, marijuana growers have developed strains high in cannabidiol and patients are reporting dramatic benefits with these in reducing epileptic seizures, but there is no controlled data to eliminate the placebo effect and bias, which could be enormous."

He explained that placebo response rates are generally higher in pediatric studies because parents appear to be more willing to see benefits in their children.

Dr. Devinksy reported that THC has been shown to be associated with psychiatric disorders and a permanent reduction in short-term memory in children.

"So if you are considering using products containing THC, the benefits would have to outweigh the risks. If a child was having 100 seizures a day, then its use might be justified, but it would not be warranted for milder epilepsy."

He added: "Cannabidiol does not have psychoactive properties and its safety profile seems quite good.

As cannabidiol makes up half the contents of Sativex, which is being taken by many tens of thousands of patients, and we anticipate that cannabidiol will have a better safety profile, we do not expect there to be major safety issues."

He noted that strains of marijuana with cannabidiol-to-THC ratios of 20:1 have been tolerated well and reported to improve cognitive function and behavioral function in children in anecdotal reports.

The initial FDA-approved study of cannabidiol will assess dose tolerability in an open-label design, with blood counts, liver function, and attentiveness all carefully monitored.

Although safety is the primary outcome, frequency of seizures will also be measured.

This first study will take place at 5 sites, with 25 patients at each site, all with epilepsy refractory to current treatment.

Most of the participants will be children with Dravet syndrome, but there will also be some children with other severe forms of epilepsy and some young adults.

"From this study we will select an optimal dose with which to go into a placebo-controlled efficacy trial," Dr. Devinksy commented.

He added: "We have been inundated with applicants. We will largely select from patients who have been in our practice for a long time, but we will also take some other very severe cases."

The study will start in January, with initial results available after 2 to 3 months.

Source:  www.medscape.com

Fox News/Barcroft TV: "Plastic Surgery Sisters: Dad Performed Our Breast Surgeries"

Help Take California Proposition 35 On The Road In 2014

The first trafficker to face a life sentence under Prop 35 was convicted in San Bernardino in September. Known for tasing his victims, Christopher Knox fell to the floor and cried when his verdict was read. Let's say he wasn't so tough anymore. 

Prop 35's full potential is still ahead. About 90,000 law enforcement officers still need to be trained by July 2014, as mandated by Prop 35. DONATE to take Prop 35 on the road in 2014. Your year-end donation of $25 or any amount will help change the game for many more traffickers. Give at www.CASRE.org/donate

Cindy Crawford / OWN TV: For Many Divorced Women, Having To Deal With This Every Week Is Simply What Life Is

Looking For A Guilty Pleasure, A Holiday Laugh, A Great Flick to Watch With Friends? See "We're The Millers"

Kids Are Always Watching

Post by Doug Lynch.

Lady Gaga Says She Smoked 15-20 Joints A Day, That She Was Cross-Addicted To Many Drugs As Well As Marijuana (Click on the Image to watch)

Nelson Mandela Has Died At The Age Of 95

Salon.com: Confessions of a Pot Addict: After 13 Years Of Daily Use, I Stopped Smoking Weed. But Quitting Only Made Me Feel Better About The Drug

Salon, by M. WELCH  

My relationship with pot started off badly. I lost all my high school friends after self-righteously refusing to smoke. I preached at everyone until our friendships evaporated. “I know if I try it, I will like it too much,” I remember saying — perhaps the only smart, true statement I would utter for many years to come.

The hardest friend to lose was a guy I’ll call Kevin. Kevin got me off Ratt and onto The Smiths. He got me playing guitar, which continues to provide me with happiness and social adventures at the age of 39. Without Kevin’s musical influence, I surely wouldn’t have moved from Florida to my beloved New Orleans after college. I worshipped Kevin until junior year, when he began smoking weed and abandoned me and my antidrug bitching. That same year, Kevin’s parents bought him a very nice car, which he crashed while skipping school and tripping on mushroom with his new drug buddies. At the time, I felt depressed but also extremely right.

When I finally broke down and tried pot in college at the age of 20, I realized I’d judged it totally wrong. Judgments regarding weed never prove factual, since the drug affects everyone differently. Some people plant themselves on the couch with snacks. Others grow manic and suffer panic attacks. I think of weed as a relaxant, a simple inverse of coffee — and not just because I smoked every morning for a long, long time.

Weed never made me unproductive. In fact, it helped me work. I’d leave fun parties because, within moments of smoking, I had to rush home and produce something: record a song, write a story. If asked, doctors might claim I suffer from ADD, although I’ve mostly lived by the advice “never ask a barber if you need a haircut.” I did visit a counselor once in hopes of replacing weed with a nonsmokeable drug that my daughter couldn’t see me take and that wouldn’t get me arrested. I told the counselor we could skip all the talking if he could refer me to a psychiatrist with a prescription pad. First though, I told him how much weed helped me. He nodded, confidentially agreed, then gave me a number I never called. I feared pills would kill my libido and my desire to record music and write, whereas weed made me more horny and creative. So, no thanks, doc.

Most important, though, weed made me calm and nice. I grew up in a tumultuous, mildly violent Irish household, which burdened me with lifelong anger issues. Before becoming a real and true pothead, I fought ferociously with my long-term college girlfriend — a fiery girl herself who was prone to throwing punches. Like my mother, I had trouble getting along with everyone. Unlike mom, though, I refused to ignore the common denominator: me.

So the discovery of pot was, for me, a mellowing godsend. Weed severely dampened my anger. My volatile girlfriend and I enjoyed more mindblowing sex while high. Also, once I officially gave in to a pot lifestyle, my brain slowed down by the perfect amount to let me, for the first time ever, sit and enjoy a book. I was even able to organize my thoughts enough to write a few books of my own.

Weed always provided outstanding musical companionship. Life never felt more perfect than when it was reduced to just me, pot and a four-track recorder. I remember wearing headphones and smoking a fat joint at the moment I received the phone call telling me I’d failed the drug test required to sell guitars at a Florida music store. That sounds ridiculous, but businesses whose employees pass drug tests get nice insurance breaks. “We all smoke here,” admitted the flustered guitar store manager. “How could you let this happen?”

Years later, I passed a drug test at New Orleans downtown public library with the aid of an orange drink called Vale, and then I began counting down six months of probationary days until the second test. Unfortunately, my library bosses loved me so much that, after five months, I arrived at work to news that they wanted to make my employment permanent immediately: “Just walk around the corner to the clinic and get the stupid drug test out of the way, and you’ll be ours forever!” announced my sweet old-lady boss. Despite first ducking into Walgreens and purchasing a tiny bottle of bleach to hide between my butt cheeks (I’d been told bleach confuses piss tests), I lost that job. It felt like being fired for drinking coffee.

Humiliated, sad and broke, I nonetheless refused to quit smoking, vowing to never again apply for a job that required drug testing. I’d also, by that point, realized I should never, ever try any “real” drugs (“I know if I try it, I will like it too much”). I have stood by both of those convictions ever since.

In 2005, my weed need was exacerbated by Hurricane Katrina. Lots of locals fared far worse than I, but watching everyone lose their homes and families poisoned even the unscathed with severe mental anguish. I began carrying a one-hitter pipe that I used every waking moment. As a busy freelance writer working from home, I took a pull off the metal cigarette roughly every half-hour until, by the end of the day, I had smoked the equivalent of a big joint (a bit more on band practice days).

New Orleans had previously boasted shitty and expensive weed. After Katrina, some entrepreneurial spirit realized this — someone from Houston, we suspected — and suddenly luscious, fragrant weed became available everywhere for $50 an eighth. For the next seven years, I spent roughly $200 a month — not a ridiculous amount for what I considered to be successful mental health medicine.

I always made a point to speak honestly about my habit to medical doctors. At the end of any physical, after being told my lungs sounded pink, I derived perverse delight from admitting I smoked weed 20 times a day. My doctors never showed surprise and never gave me any real warnings, which I took to be further proof of pot’s innate harmlessness.

I never tried to quit, but whenever I ran out, it would only be a matter of hours before I’d end up in a loud argument with my girlfriend-now-wife or with an editor or with whoever else had previously pissed me off but had eluded my wrath when I’d been too stoned to care. “Jesus, go buy some weed!” my wife would shout back at me. And, unhappy with the angry intensity of my “real” personality, I did as instructed.

The birth of our daughter in 2009 did nothing to curb my use — not even when the baby would find and bring to me my dirty one-hitter, announcing, “This is yours!” Once, she got hold of a paperclip gooey with resin (which I’d used to unclog a pipe) and ruined her very cute pink onesie. But I just couldn’t bear the possibility she might ever hear me shout like an angry maniac. Stoned, funny daddy did nothing but right by the little girl.

Finally, this holiday season, my wife planned a 10-day trip for us to visit her family in DC, which meant 10 days without medicine. The idea intimidated me, but for the first time, I looked forward to a break — my longest in maybe seven years.

Real weed withdrawal occurs only in serious potheads, who are so used to feeling mellow and content that neutrality prickles. Vacation preparation consisted of reading up on what to expect: irritability, loss of appetite, insomnia. That first week up north did indeed feel like the “Basketball Diaries.” Not really. But my brain burned for five sleepless nights and days and, had we not been in her parents’ house, my wife and I would have argued constantly — that need to fake sanity proved a blessing.

Then, on the fifth day, I began to calm. By the eighth day, the monkey vanished, and I haven’t seen him since.

During the following month of sobriety, I’ve turned down weed a dozen times, sans temptation. Which says a lot for pot. To put it in perspective: I also love milk, and upon the birth of my daughter, I ceased buying cow’s milk, wary of its corporate hormones. But soy never satisfied my intense lactose craving, and I caved within six months. Even though I’m not a big boozer, after Mardi Gras every year I abstain from alcohol for only 30 days (a sort of agnostic Lent) because the prescribed 40 is just too long. And two weeks after Fat Tuesday, I simply must gulp down one big glass of red wine to get me through the final two weeks.

But after 13 years of heavy daily marijuana usage I, miraculously, do not crave it at all. Which leads me to believe even more strongly that pot is as harmless as coffee. I simply abused it. It was me. Had I eaten as much peanut butter as I smoked weed all those years, I might have died of peanut butter overdose.

I can’t deny feeling smarter and more productive now. I wrote and published four books while high, but I might’ve written eight sober. By now, my brain feels permanently baked to perform at a slower, more comfortable speed, and I feel nowhere near as insane as I expected. I feel in better control of my emotions than at any other time in my life.

Or maybe I just feel temporarily good right now, having grown tired of a wonderful thing. I similarly love snorkeling, exploring the psychedelic depths and strange, colorful creatures therein. But if I could somehow stay under the beautiful water for 13 years, I imagine my eventual time back on land would feel fresh and interesting and that I could gladly avoid the ocean for a long, long time.

M. Welch is a New Orleans author and journalist. His work has appeared at Newsweek, Oxford American, McSweeney's, Vice and many other publications.

Source:  www.Salon.com

STOP IT. The Holidays Are Not A Reason To “Pig-Out” And Gain Unwanted Pounds.

By Alexandra D. Datig -

Ever say to yourself “Oh no, here come the holidays again.  Guess I’m going to eat more than I usually do and gain some weight.”  I used to say exactly that and every year there would be an extra five to seven pound added on between Thanksgiving and New Year that I then had to struggle losing while getting ready for Summer.  Thinking I was honoring the holiday spirit by eating till I platzed, by the time January came around I developed new annoying habits like going for seconds instead of going for a walk and eating late instead of getting in a workout here and there and skipping a full meal now and then. 

There’s a great saying in the fitness world.  They say “Great Summer bodies are built in the Winter.”  If you can prepare for the holiday food fight with more walks, more workouts, more salads and a small snack on days where you go to family gatherings and holiday parties, January will come around and your great summer body will still be in progress with a regular workout routine and a healthy diet. 

So make the holidays a reason to take more walks, to eat a beautifully prepared holiday meal on a totally empty stomach, and make sure you get a regular healthy dose of fiber. 

Most of all, tell all your friends, they’ll thank you in January if they follow your lead.

The Atlantic: The Creative Process of a Paralyzed Screenwriter - A short documentary shows how Scott Lew, who has ALS, writes feature films.

Source:  www.theatlantic.com

WARNING - Graphic Content & Profanity: Universal Free Press - Despicable Gulf Cartel Hangs Teen Girls as a Warning

On November 25, 2013 a horrific scene came to light early in the morning in Fresnillo Zacatecas when two bodies were seen hanging from a pedestrian bridge. A message was left on a banner hanging from the bridge next to the bodies of the victims and was signed by the Gulf Cartel (CDG).

The victims were both young girls that are not named here as requested by the family out of fear of retaliation.  Both victims were ages 15 and 16 and were reported missing since November 20, 2013. They were both held by members of the CDG to gather information on Los Zetas. Both of the victims were known associates of members of organized crime.

The two bodies dangled from the bridge. The authorities quickly arrived when notified and they secured the scene.

The bodies were hanging from yellow plastic chords.

The massages on the banner read: “F***ing Z Juan Bandido don’t be a fa**ot, confront us whore, come and pick up your trash, so you know whore here is the CDG, under the command of M3. Respond for your people, don’t be a coward.”

Los Zetas are fighting to gain control of Fresnillo. They have declared that Fresnillo will never be CDG territory. In the last few weeks, CDG has been abducting people and stating that they are going after Los Zetas. Young girls have been the biggest targets, since at least 25 girls have been abducted in the last month.

No witnesses have come forward.

More at:  www.universalfreepress.com

FOX NEWS: Celebs Such As Heidi Montag, Sharon Osbourne, Victoria Beckham, Heather Morris, Jenna Jameson, Tara Reid, Kimberly Stewart And Courtney Love Turn Back To Natural Looking Breasts by Removing Implants

LOS ANGELES –  In Hollywood a big chest can mean big bucks, so wannabe starlets often go under the knife when seeking their big break. But these days, more and more celebrities are going in reverse, and heading heading back to the doctor’s office to get those oversized implants removed.

Heidi Montag of “The Hills” fame captured headlines in 2010 when she suddenly underwent a serious of dramatic surgeries including massive breast implants. But this year, the 20-something star decided she was “tired of being the surgery girl” and ditched the fake boobs. Montag was informed by a specialist that her F-size implants were “bottoming out,” also known as displacement, which results in the loss of tissue support at the bottom half and can mean the implant moves downward on the chest.

In doing so, Montag joined Sharon Osbourne, Victoria Beckham, Heather Morris, Jenna Jameson, Tara Reid, Kimberly Stewart and Courtney Love, who all recently had the removal procedure done.

“I have seen implant removal or downsizing gaining traction over the past few years. This is a growing trend for all groups of women, not just celebrities. Downsizing has been three times more popular than going larger among my patients who decide to change their implant size. You would think that the reason is they bring unwanted attention, but that has not been a popular answer,” Dr. Gabriel Chiu of Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery, Inc. told FOX411. “The most common answer is that they are tired of having such large breasts. The next most common answer has been that the large breasts feel awkward and that it has been difficult to get used to them. The economy and pop culture are also major influencers in why women are going smaller.”

According to Chiu, during the recent recession/depression, flaunting oversized breasts was deemed crass ,which directly influenced breast implant sizing: bigger was tackier and out of tune with the times, while moderation or balance/proportion was key.

“Folks were downsizing their cars, houses, and breast implant size. Plastic surgery often follows trends in popular culture,” he explained. “In the case of breast implants, smaller/perkier was more chic. Fashion has adapted to this trend and clothing today accommodates smaller, more proportionate breasts than larger sizes.” 

Fashion designer and model manager Nadja Atwal says oversized implants don't even increase one’s prospect for getting work in show business anymore.

“In the late 90’s to up to five years ago, there was still a big glamour model industry with lots of men’s magazines. That market has died down and the models with the big implants have little to no market anymore. Pam Anderson was the big bust icon during the ‘Baywatch’ era and was often copied,” she explained. “But that trend never crossed over into the film industry and many models who desired to launch a serious acting career while sporting a fake D-cup got the ‘bimbo’ label – not the jobs.”

And as the cup size of the Hollywood community continues to shrink, chances are it is going to be discussed a lot more openly than perhaps it once was.

“It has become socially acceptable to let everyone know that you’re having your implants removed whereas it wasn’t as socially acceptable to announce it in the past. Some are doing it because they are physically uncomfortable with the larger size. In their mind when they had them implanted they were only focused on having large breasts. They weren't thinking about the consequences of  carrying two such large and heavy things on their chest, back pain, discomfort of having something so heavy and large on a small body,” said Cliffside Malibu psychotherapist Stacy Kaiser. “Others are removing them because they once got large breasts to improve their self esteem or self image and have since grown more confident and don't feel they need them anymore to feel good.”

Implants indeed represent more than meets the eye. Potential complications include severe pain, thinning and shrinking of the skin, infection, rupture or a collection of fluid around the implant known as seroma. Depending on what needs to be done, the removal process usually costs around $5000.

Source:  www.foxnews.com