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Monday, January 16, 2012
Why Community Based 12-Step Programs Fail
Thursday, December 29, 2011
New Year’s Resolution: Stay sober and go where the love is

Almost 13 years ago (It’ll be 13 years on New Year’s Eve), before I got sober, I struggled for years trying to see if people would accept me and love me as an addict. Couldn’t they see that I was still a “nice person” even though I used drugs? Couldn’t they accept me, hire me, be my friend, my neighbor, my teacher, a loving family member, even if I was on drugs? Why not? I kept asking myself, while looking in the mirror seeing a person I could hardly recognize. After all, I kept telling myself, I wasn’t really hurting anyone but myself? And I could manage that part…right? So I thought and thought so very wrong.
As the years in recovery go by I learned that when a member of the family is addicted to drugs the whole family is affected. When a student is on drugs the entire school develops a negative stigma. When a worker is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, he or she gets frowned upon and pushed out. Relationships suffer and get destroyed, promises are often broken and commitments turn into empty words. The addict becomes a victim of many crimes and also one who is not in good standing with the law. This is a very sad reality but it is reality and just like addiction, if we want to change this reality, we fist have to accept that this is reality. It’s not a matter of whether a drug is legal or illegal, all drugs should be controlled and bad drugs should be illegal. We can’t deny the fact that drug addiction destroys human health and wellbeing sometimes over time, sometimes right away and sometimes forever.
I wanted to go where the love is, yet I had no direction on where to find it. Why? Because I was trying to find love in others instead of myself! Duh! I would later learn in sobriety that love would only find me if I did the work I needed and took the time I needed to love myself. For me this was a very tall order because I wasted so much time drinking and using drugs that taking care of loving myself was the last thing on my mind.
In the journey of my recovery I have found that self-love is a series of daily adjustments. They start with putting my attitude in check and continue with making sure that I recognize the blessings of my environment and the people who try to help me. My blessings are my sobriety, good health, relationships and ability to better myself and become more productive as a contributing member of my community. I give back what I receive, directly or indirectly, in a big way or a small way with dignity. It is also my responsibility to make sure that I am perceived in a way that is healthy for me. To do this I choose to tell everyone in my life that I am sober. It works for me and has kept me sober for many years.
Those who freely make a difference for people in recovery are the most magnificent human beings in the world. These people do things for us recovering folks that at one time or another we truly cannot do for ourselves. Sometimes those people help us and become our friend for life. Other times they help us and are burdened by us, yet they still care enough to find empathy and compassion in their hearts to understand that without the help and understanding of others we remain lost in our pain. We must always remember that the people who help us deserve praise for their kindnesses, though near or far. We praise them each day by staying sober and show them that they are our heroes and cheerleaders. Today, I thank all my heroes and cheerleaders for leading me to my 13th year in recovery. You are the true winners who shine a bright light on my path each day!
Alexandra

Monday, December 12, 2011
Lindsay Lohan: Beautiful Woman, Extraordinary Talent, Horrific Personal Struggle
Lindsay Lohan grew up in the spotlight. From “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” to “Mean Girls” to “Chapter 27” Lindsay Lohan has made us all recognize that she has a will to succeed. But Lindsay has had struggles finding someone in her life who she could believe in that would show her good example. A conflict between parents, a teenage drinking problem, a series of drug arrests and courtroom drama that seems endless, has shown how Lindsay’s personal life is spiraling out of control.
At the age of 25, life begins to change for many young women. Lindsay has reached an age where she must recognize that she either grows up and begins to take responsibility for her life, or the heartbreak will keep on coming. In recovery it’s called “incomprehensible demoralization.” When Paris Hilton had all her troubles, she too was in her mid 20’s, though neither Paris nor Lindsay actually understand that younger women who plan to become “just like them” are idolizing and modeling their behavior.
We see Lindsay smoking just about everywhere she goes. We see her falling down and making a fool of herself and even more so we often see Lindsay alone. Yet we don’t ask her why she believes that her “I’m going to do what ever I want” attitude isn't hurting others. Still, Lindsay is pushing all the extremes. From breaking her probation, to being sent to the morgue, to a Marylyn Monroe-esque Playboy shoot, what are other young women and men supposed to make of Lindsay Lohan? Is she saying “look only at the part of me which is okay“, pointing to her outer undeniable beauty? But if we look at her behavior and her decisions over the last few years, it seems there are more reactions than actions to her life. This is a certain sign of unhappiness and a dangerous place for an addict.
Addiction is a complex and incredibly stressful thing, where the central nervous system’s ability to send a calming response to CNS receptors is impaired. While in it’s active state, addiction is a confrontational fiend. It is a disease of betrayal, provocation, hostile retaliation, of emotional highs and lows as well as a constant need to prove that “we are a better person than the rest of those who are watching.” Lindsay is portraying a type of martyrdom and quite frankly (and I never thought I’d say this), Playboy Magazine is doing far more for Lindsay than Lindsay is doing for Playboy. The images are certainly a step up from the blood dripping, knife wielding pics from earlier this year.
Lindsay is at a crossroads in her life and perhaps Playboy has put a fork in the road. Is she going to follow the path of Anna Nicole Smith, whose reactive, addictive life lead her to an early death? Or is Lindsay Lohan going to grow?
I for one just want to ask Lindsay to take the opportunity and think about other young women who are not riding high on fame but are going through similar problems as Lindsay’s run-ins with the law. We have heard Lindsay say for moths now, that she has to change and do more and learn form her mistakes. Woman to woman Lindsay, cause I've been there and done that, the world may seem like it revolves around you, but it does not. If you want to destroy your life, that is your business, but please, if you continue on your destructive path, get out of the spotlight because you are hurting the self-image of at-risk young women and men! It is time for you to see the writing on the wall. Do something good with your life and give yourself a chance and stop being so selfish.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Pot And Why Not, By Alexandra Datig
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Things Can Get Even More Difficult In Early Sobriety
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Oscar! It’s Time To T.K.O. Addiction

Beating addiction may just be the biggest and longest fight of boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya’s life. With all the physical abuse he has endured in his profession, a profession that has an element of serious injury and pain, it is amazing that Oscar is not an out of control junkie! Oscar De La Hoya is defending his infidelity caused by primarily alcohol abuse and drug intoxication. He says he cheated on his wife but we’re not talking about Tiger Woods here. Okay, we all know that's the wrong argument.
Ironically, career wise, Tiger and Oscar have a lot in common. They are both masters of their game and they both know how to overcome the odds under extreme pressure. But when alcohol and drugs start to cloud a champion’s reality, or anyone else’s for that matter, anything can happen. And when it does, it has nothing to do with reality.
History shows that alcohol and drug intoxication result in what drug prevention experts identify as “high risk behavior.” While effects of drug abuse and alcohol abuse infiltrate human ability to reason, cheating, crime and even violence, lie in wake for some more than others. These behaviors are often a fleeting thought and become more premeditated and actionable as the volume of consumption increases day by day as well as over time.
Oscar points out that he had a lot of emotional pain over his mother who had passed and that he felt unloved, which is why he wandered outside of his marriage to find the love he craved for. This is not okay and it never will be. But we can take it further from here and bedevil Oscar or Tiger all we want. But that will not help either of them get on the right track.
Looking back is not the way to recovery. Thoughts of suicide and thoughts of serious failure and giving up are not a road to recovery. It is only a road to sadness and depression because we end up realizing that we can’t turn back the clock. Hey, people make mistakes! It happens. When you’re intoxicated the mistakes just keep on happening. It’s called addiction and we have to stop making excuses.
We must take action by quitting to use the substances that cause our behavior. If we stop, our behavior too will stop and eventually blame will be something of the past for us, left far behind like a tiny object in our rear view mirror. We must let those we hurt heal by distancing ourselves and doing everything we can to overcome our shortcomings. We must save ourselves first. Then we can help others. Blame is useless, even if we deserve it. It will not save us.
God Speed Oscar!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Help People Who Want To Change
Proposed Federal Law:
Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2011
Revision 1
Prevents often fatal relapse and punishes drug dealers
and those aiding drug dealers
from selling drugs to men and women in treatment
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Alexandra Datig is calling for nationwide support of a Federal law which would protect men and women struggling form addiction who are either in treatment or have completed treatment for recovery from addiction. The proposed law would protect men and women in recovery from drug dealers and those who aid drug dealers.
Datig, a business and public affairs consultant is also the founder of the addiction recovery website www.fiveyearsfromnow.net. She is recovering from a 13-year, life threatening drug addiction and has a successful recovery of more than 12 years.
Datig says: “It is often said in recovery that ‘help is for those who want it, not for those who need it.’ With The Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2011 we are lessening the burden on concerned families and friends, making it easier for people who are trying to beat addiction to ask for the help they want.”
Proposed Federal Law:
Authored by: Alexandra D. Datig, August 11, 2011
Proposed Title and Text: Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2011
The Legislature finds and declares:
a.) The Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2011, criminally punishes drug dealers and those who aid drug dealers, from selling addictive and illegal substances to men and women who are in treatment or re-enter society from drug rehabilitation management facilities. Women and men trying to find recovery are most vulnerable and susceptible to relapse in his or her first two years of sobriety and do not have the ability to withstand his or her social triggers of addiction, causing serious harm and fatal relapse. The human toll has been well documented, showing during and after addiction rehabilitation, addicts are dying at a far more rapid rate from relapse, when compared to first-time use, because drug dealers and those aiding drug dealers have not been put on notice.
(Five Year From Now 2011,
http://www.fiveyearsfromnow.net/Hollywood_RIP.html )
b.) The legislature shall enact The Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2011 as a Federal law, mandating criminal action and fines against any individual who knowingly sells or furnishes or aids in furnishing addictive substances, of any kind, to a man or a woman who is either in treatment or has documented proof of having completed a rehabilitation program to treat and overcome substance abuse. The Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2011 shall also serve as a Three Strikes model for drug dealers and those who aide drug dealers, who re-offend selling addictive substances to any man or woman in recovery and shall follow the model of ADA, Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 and protect men and women recovering from addiction in his or her first two years of recovery. The Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2011 mandates court ordered drug rehabilitation and education programs for drug dealers and those who aid drug dealers with selling drugs to men and women recovering from addiction; and imposes a minimum five-year prison term, for the first offense and a ten-year term for the second offense, as well as appropriate and reasonable fines.
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