OKSANA GRIGORIEVA is clearly a victim when it comes to domestic violence as can be seen and heard on this TMZ video clip. At the same time I believe that she will get the help she needs. But what about Mel? In this interview with Larry King, where recorded conversations are made public, a couple of things seem very obvious.
Mel is completely enraged at Oksana and is fitting the model of a man who has so much rage, he verbally expresses that he does not have any regard for who he hurts, including a baby as well as himself. Second, even though his behavior is clearly of concern, why did Oksana record the calls, prolonging his obsession rather than call the police? After all, recording a call is against the law in California unless both parties are aware they are being recorded.
The taunting of Mel, telling him he needs medication may not be a big issue for those who don't understand the disease of alcoholism. But for those of us who do, telling an alcoholic, especially a dry and untreated alcoholic that he or she needs medication is a serious mistake and will without a doubt cause rage, even the kind of rage Mel expresses in his conversations. This is by no means something anyone deserves, but it is a attibute to alcoholism that has never been treated.
Untreated alcoholism fits the model of some of the behavior Mel is exhibiting. When we get sober and we take the 12 Steps, we learn not to turn guilt into rage. We learn that we are only human and are responsible for the harm we do and that we must make amends. Though the amends process can be a life-long process, if we're going to be sane and free from the stronghold of addiction we must stay away from situations that cause us harm. If we don't we must be removed or someone will eventually remove us and make us fall from our ego-driven throne.
