I have not seen Don Cornelius since I got sober 13 years ago. Back in the day, I used to be part of a group who would meet at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel. We would sit and drink and tell the silliest jokes as social drinkers often do. Don would join in and he was always the voice of reason between laughs. One night, Don invited me over to his house in Studio City on Mulholland, the same house he took his own life in at 4:00am on February 1st.
His house was beautifully designed in African décor and it was apparent from the start that he had very good taste, class and that he had a lot of books and other mementos about African American heritage and history. We sat up the whole night and talked till the sun came up. It was kind of like hanging out with your favorite uncle and getting an amazing crash course in African American studies. After that night, he left an impression on me that lasted and when I found out today that he ended his own life I was very saddened by this terrible news.
It is so hard for me to understand how someone like Don Cornelius could feel right about ending his own life. He knew so well how to get along in the world, that the last few years of strife in his life seemed so much out of the ordinary of his character. This showed he clearly had pain.
The mother of soulful vocalist Phyllis Hyman wrote in her memorial address of Phyllis, pleading to people they should not feel alone in their pain as Phyllis did who also committed suicide. For Phyllis Hyman it was drug addiction, relationship troubles and overdose. Mrs. Hyman said, “Talk to someone and know that you are not alone in your pain.”
If you’re out there and you’re feeling like your problems are too big, when you talk to someone about them, someone who will listen, they will seem much smaller and easier to handle. Feelings are not facts and actions can change the way we feel about a lot of things. So keep talking and go where the love is.
Prayers, peace, love and soul, R.I.P. Don.
