I found and watched 10 episodes of "The Two Coreys" yesterday on You Tube (There were actually 19 episodes from 2007-2008). Haim had no chance to grow and come out of his addiction. I think that show will become a major study on how not to treat an out-of-control addict. Helping an addict through confrontation, controlling and by pushing his or her buttons creates more addiction, not sobriety.
Corey Feldman had no idea what he was dealing with and I feel badly for him because he really tried to do "what he thought was right." Feldman's actions will come back to haunt him, though we should always remember that Feldman too is recovering from addiction. The actions Feldman took ended up being the exact opposite of what Haim needed. Haim created his own loneliness and desperation, but he was in so deep that he did not know how to ask for help anymore because he was constantly asked to feed on humble pie and that placed him into inner conflict and prideful behavior.
When do we know an addict is asking for help? When he or she says, again and again, "I need help, I want to change" and then makes that change.
We have to be patient with relapsing addicts. Our fear of failure is critical to our sobriety. Make no mistake about that. If we make a relapsing addict aware of failure with provocative comments and confrontation, he or she will not be able to grow and find his or her will to hold on to recovery.
