In recovery there is a term called “stinkin’ thinking’”. It is a fact that every person who wants to find recovery, has to be able to realize that we don't see things in a positive light when we're addicted.
This thought pattern is progressive over time and when it reaches its most vocal negatives, everyone agrees, things either change, or we lose the interest of those who used to think we had something important to say.
Stinkin’ thinkin’ is the kind of thing where every thought and perception starts with a negative connotation. It is part of the negative attitude addiction brings. Turning this kind of thought and perceptive process around is like getting in shape; it takes time and it requires dedication. A great model for turning around this way of thinking is Dr. Stephen R. Covery’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”
Here's how Dr. Covey's Habits can be applied to recovery:
Habit 1: Be Proactive
This habit is about changing the things we can and looking to ourselves for answers. By doing so we stop reacting over the things we cannot change and start acting and finding the solutions to the things that we can change.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
This habit is about long-term and short-term goals setting. It is also a good model for financial responsibility and living within one’s means, something addiction takes away from us.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Addiction puts an end to our goals and our dreams. By placing first things first, we are able to identify the things that must matter first for our recovery. This habit teaches us to always put our sobriety before everything else.
Habit 4: Think Win/Win
This habit helps us to change our social behavior. Where we used to associate with people who shared our patterns of addiction, we now learn to have healthier relationships. Relationships we had in our addiction were all about “what’s in it for me” and “it’s all about me.” By thinking win/win, we have relationships that build trust, reliability and accountability, which helps us move forward to a happier life and greater freedom.
Habit 5: Think First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
As addicts, we always try to talk people into understanding us and our addiction. We do this because we seek acceptance from others to our way of living. We are closed off to the rest of the world and have no interest in helping solve the long-term problems of others. Listening and rational thought while doing so is our great weakness. We manipulate by talking and thereby silencing others. By learning how to listen, we begin to rediscover empathy and sympathy for others.
Habit 6: Synergize
By finding a healthy social environment, we learn how to have trustworthy friends and we also re-learn self-reliance. By doing our part, we can solve problems rather than create them, always keeping in mind that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We conclude that it is more important to be happy than right and that it is more important to have harmony and serenity than self-entitlement and conflict.
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
In our addiction, we were often closed to learning new things, unless they promoted our drug problem. In recovery, we develop new skills by finishing high school, finishing our college degree or getting to a renewed academic level. By doing so we also learn to balance our physical, social and emotional health and take time out to take care of ourselves.
For more on Dr. Covey’s Seven Habits visit:
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
